Hell no. When I die I want to be sick.
ABE LEMONSHell no. When I die I want to be sick.
ABE LEMONSDoctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.
ABE LEMONSThey wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn’t make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay.
ABE LEMONSThe trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
ABE LEMONSYou always catch the wrong players.
ABE LEMONSYou mean in the state?
ABE LEMONSYou may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you’re nobody.
ABE LEMONSIf I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, ‘It wasn’t in the rules.’
ABE LEMONSI don’t have any tricky plays. I’d rather have tricky players.
ABE LEMONSCoaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter.
ABE LEMONSDamn referees, I’ll miss them less than anybody.
ABE LEMONSI’d rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year.
ABE LEMONSFinish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.
ABE LEMONSI don’t understand these new coaches who don’t drink. What do they do when they get beat?
ABE LEMONSWe did have three go to the YMCA.
ABE LEMONS