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We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.

Aasif Mandvi

I think I discovered my first, you know, my first image of a naked woman was sort of sneaking a peek at one of those magazines that was in my dad’s store.
AASIF MANDVI

Dad Discover Image Naked Peek Sneaking Thinking Woman
Bradford specifically there were a lot of Pakistanis there. Even today it has a very large Pakistani population.It was something that I experienced
AASIF MANDVI

Bradford Danger Home Kid Population School Something Specially Today
I never consciously got into comedy. It was sort of one of those things where I was a theater student, I was acting, I was doing comedy, I was doing dramatic stuff, so it’s been something that I’ve always done and enjoyed doing and had an instinct to be relatively good at.
AASIF MANDVI

Acting Comedy Conscious Done Stuff Theatre Thing
If people invited Muslims into their home every week by way of a TV show would go a long way to making people feel comfortable with Muslims and countering misconceptions about who we are. Plus, of course, that will make it easier for us to impose sharia law across America.
AASIF MANDVI

Comfortable Every Feel Home Long People Week
Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.
AASIF MANDVI

Bus Chased English Getting Home Kid Praying Stop
When you’re brown and Indian, you get offered a lot of doctor roles.
AASIF MANDVI

Brown Doctor Indian Offer Roles
The artist never really has any control over the impact of his work. If he starts thinking about the impact of his work, then he becomes a lesser artist.
AASIF MANDVI

Artist Control Impact Over Thinking Work
I know the Gospel according to Mark better than I know any sura in the Quran.
AASIF MANDVI

Better Gospel Know Mark Quran
Samantha Bee said to me when I first started on the “Daily Show”, she was like no – there is no – the only way you’ll learn this job is by doing this job.
AASIF MANDVI

Daily First Job Learn No Samantha Bee She Show Started Way
Indian culture is essentially much more of a we culture. It’s a communal culture where you do what’s best for the community – you procreate.
AASIF MANDVI

Community Culture Essential Indian
I thought [when I was 16] my days were just going to be spent hanging out on a beach and my girlfriend was going to be Miss Teen USA and my best friend will be a dolphin.
AASIF MANDVI

Beach Day Enjoy Girlfriend Hanging Spent
For anybody who’s ever been on the other end of, like, racial violence logic is not something that can be used.
AASIF MANDVI

End Like Logic Something Used Violence
Statistically there is enough voter fraud to sway zero elections.
AASIF MANDVI

Election Statistically Voter Voter Fraud Zero
It’s an organic thing that I try not to analyze too much, because I worry that it will go away.
AASIF MANDVI

Analyze Away Going Try Trying Worry
I’ve always said I’m the worst representative of Muslim-Americans that’s ever existed, because I’ve been inside more bars than mosques.
AASIF MANDVI

Bar Existed Inside More Mosque Muslim
I was a fan of “The Daily Show” I watched it,I never imagined being on it, but I figured I would just go down there and do my best Stephen Colbert impression.
AASIF MANDVI

Daily Down Fan Figure Imagine Impression Show Watch

We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.

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We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.

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