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We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.

Aasif Mandvi

So I had this completely unrealistic idea of what America was — but I wanted to be there.
AASIF MANDVI

America Complete Idea Unrealistic Wanted
I think you had the GOP down there in North Carolina reaching out to African-American voters and this guy coming on television and using the N-word and saying what Don Yelton said.
AASIF MANDVI

African American Coming Guy Television Thinking
I think I discovered my first, you know, my first image of a naked woman was sort of sneaking a peek at one of those magazines that was in my dad’s store.
AASIF MANDVI

Dad Discover Image Naked Peek Sneaking Thinking Woman
I’ve always said I’m the worst representative of Muslim-Americans that’s ever existed, because I’ve been inside more bars than mosques.
AASIF MANDVI

Bar Existed Inside More Mosque Muslim
Of course the law’s not racist.
AASIF MANDVI

Course Law Racist Result
Bradford specifically there were a lot of Pakistanis there. Even today it has a very large Pakistani population.It was something that I experienced
AASIF MANDVI

Bradford Danger Home Kid Population School Something Specially Today
In Britain, you never get away from the fact that you’re a foreigner. In the U.S., the view is it doesn’t matter where you come from.
AASIF MANDVI

Come Fact Matter Views Where You
Getting chased home from the bus stop after school by English kids, boarding school, being targeted for praying to what they call Allah wallah ding dong.
AASIF MANDVI

Bus Chased English Getting Home Kid Praying Stop
This was in the ’70s and there was a lot of racism towards South Asians and there was a lot of hazing and bullying and racism that really probably shaped me in some way in terms of, like, wanting to get out of there.
AASIF MANDVI

Asian Bullying Hazing Racism South Toward Way
When I was 11 my friend’s mom made a peanut butter sandwich. I ate the sandwich and was like, ‘I’m never eating anything else again.’ And I still eat peanut butter every day. I would put peanut butter on a steak.
AASIF MANDVI

Ate Eating Friend Made Mom Peanut Butter Sandwich
Comedy can reach many more people than, say, a serious lecture on the topic. And comedy might just be the access point to reach people who want to be entertained and also learn something.
AASIF MANDVI

Access Comedy Feel Lecture People Serious Topic
Samantha Bee said to me when I first started on the “Daily Show”, she was like no – there is no – the only way you’ll learn this job is by doing this job.
AASIF MANDVI

Daily First Job Learn No Samantha Bee She Show Started Way
Statistically there is enough voter fraud to sway zero elections.
AASIF MANDVI

Election Statistically Voter Voter Fraud Zero
Because to Americans, Chechnya might as well be a suburb of Narnia.
AASIF MANDVI

Chechnya Country might Narnia Suburb
If you don’t acknowledge differences, it’s as bad as stereotyping or reducing someone.
AASIF MANDVI

Acknowledge Bad Differences Stereotype Reducing Someone
I said we are Ghodratis and there’s nothing that Ghodratis like more than a bargain.
AASIF MANDVI

Bargain Ghodrati More Nothing Said

We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.

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We are Muslims. My father would pawn off his Muslim in-laws as Hindus just so that he could get free pancakes.

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