“Your mind will give back to you exactly what you put into it.”

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial.

God made food; the devil the cooks.

Moments of their secret life together burst like stars upon his memory.

A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.

There is no heresy or no philosophy which is so abhorrent to the church as a human being.

All Moanday, Tearday, Wailsday, Thumpsday, Frightday, Shatterday.

I’ve put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that’s the only way of insuring one’s immortality.

The supreme question about a work of art is out of how deep a life does it spring.

The heaventree of stars hung with humid nightblue fruit.

White pudding and eggs and sausages and cups of tea! How simple and beautiful was life after all!

There’s no friends like the old friends.

There is not past, no future; everything flows in an eternal present.

Jesus was a bachelor and never lived with a woman. Surely living with a woman is one of the most difficult things a man has to do, and he never did it.

Thought is the thought of thought.

Every jackass going the roads thinks he has ideas.

Ask no questions and you’ll hear no lies.

How many people you bless is how you measure success.

No joy can equal the joy of serving others.

For it is in giving that we receive.

What we give to the poor, we lend to the Lord.

It’s for all the women who embrace my aesthetic, but can’t afford a Vera Wang dress. If women can get anything out of it – a little bit of me or a lot of me, that’s what’s important.

Happiness comes to them who bring happiness to others.

Happiness comes to them who bring happiness to others.

Happiness comes to them who bring happiness to others.