“They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.”

I’m trying to preach the idea that if we don’t pay attention to history we’re destined to repeat it.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

Improvise, Adapt and Overcome!

Self-respect leads to self-discipline.

Being comfortable is over-rated.

If you’re afraid to take risks in anything in life, it’s just boredom.

I’m not really conservative. I’m conservative on certain things. I believe in less government. I believe in fiscal responsibility and all those things that maybe Republicans used to believe in but don’t any more.

The interesting thing with child actors is that kids are natural actors. They’re wonderful actors, and most kids are acting all the time. They’re imagining they’re out in the yard playing. They’re imagining that things happened, and they can get very vivid.

I pay tribute to the writing always. The writer is a creative artist and the director is an interpretive artist and the actors are interpretive. You take zero and make it into something, that’s always amazing to me.

I am sort of anti-hunting. I don’t put down what anyone wants to do, but it seems to me that killing a creature for fun is not a progressive idea.

Fate pulls you in different directions

The more time you have to think things through, the more you have to screw it up.

I know what you’re thinking ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?

I believe in my gut. Most people intellectualize their instincts away, but when you feel something, you have to go for it. A Fistful of Dollars was a great instinct for me, because here I was, a guy who’s doing Rawhide.

When you’re young, you’re very reckless. Then you get conservative. Then you get reckless again.

Nowadays, politically, everybody is promising everything. That’s the only way you can get elected.

The most dangerous thing in the world is to make a friend of an Englishman, because he’ll come sleep in your closet rather than spend 10 shillings on a hotel.

Death should take me while I am in the mood.

Ladies pick funny things to be proud of.

The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If Christ came back he would drive his treacherous servants out of the temple with a whip.

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay.

I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil.