“Comedy is allied to justice.”

There is no beast, no rush of fire, like woman so untamed. She calmly goes her way where even panthers would be shamed.

By words the mind is winged.

Your lost friends are not dead, but gone before, advanced a stage or two upon that road which you must travel in the steps they trod.

Tis not for us to warn a wilful sinner; We stay him not, but let him run his course, Till by misfortunes rous’d, his conscience wakes, And prompts him to appease th’ offended gods.

Evil events from evil causes spring.

I saw a cavalry captain buy vegetable soup on horseback. He carried the whole mess home in his helmet.

Words give wings to the mind and make a man soar to heaven.

I would treat her like an egg, the shell of which we remove before eating it; I would take off her mask and then kiss her pretty face.

An insult directed at the wicked is not to be censured; on the contrary, the honest man, if he has sense, can only applaud.

Love is merely the name for the desire and pursuit of the whole.

There’s no art where there’s no fee.

How can I study from below, that which is above?

Does it seem that everything is extravagance in the world, or rather madness, when you watch the way things go? A crowd of rogues enjoy blessings they have won by sheer injustice, while more honest folks are miserable and die of hunger.

It should not prejudice my voice that I’m not born a man, if I say something advantageous to the present situation. For I’m taxed too, and as a toll provide men for the nation.

Why, I’d like nothing better than to achieve some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.

You cannot teach a crab to walk straight.

Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.

Anyone can write. But comedy, you’ve got to do some writing. You get one comedy script to every 20 dramas.

In terms of the romantic kind of lead, I just never enjoy those movies very much. Maybe they’ll come to interest me more as I get older. I doubt it, but maybe. Romantic comedies tend to be, for me, an oxymoron.

The only thing I would unequivocally say is that I have never had any interest in romantic comedy I just couldn’t do it. I think I’d be terrible.

Seeing the energy of ‘SNL’ made me want to be a part of it. If that was a job, I thought, that was the job I wanted. That was my plan. Comedy.

Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.

Years have passed since I have set foot in a comedy club. If the comic is doing badly it’s painful, and if the comic is doing brilliantly, it’s extremely painful.

If I were running a campaign, I’d urge taking the mountain of money reportedly squandered on pizza, coffee and bagels and spending it more wisely – on a talented young comedy writer.