“Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I’ve practised for many years.”

Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed.

People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I’ve never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing.

There are always twenty excellent reasons for doing nothing for every one reason for starting anything-especially if it has never been done before.

As so often happens, I discover that it would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

Human population growth is probably the single most serious long-term threat to survival.

A gun is no more dangerous than a cricket bat in the hands of a madman.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

I have frequently been misrepresented. I don’t hate the press; I find a lot of it is very unpalatable.

British women can’t cook.

It’s a pleasure to be in a country that isn’t ruled by its people.

The man who invented the red carpet needed his head examined.

Everything that wasn’t invented by God is invented by an engineer.

All money nowadays seems to be produced with a natural homing instinct for the Treasury.

We live in what virtually amounts to a museum – which does not happen to a lot of people.

I had been playing polo, and I decided to give up at the age of 50.

Better to die on your feet than live on your knees.

Once I wept for I had no shoes. Then I met a man with no feet, so I took his shoes. I mean, it wasn’t as if he was going to need them.

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly?

I long to set foot where no man has trod before.

I ask no favor for my sex. All I ask of our brethren is that they take their feet off our necks.

You’re not going to see your dreams come true if you don’t put wings, legs, arms, hands, and feet on ’em.

I still have a lot of room for improvement. For example, I want to shoot equally well with both feet.

A garden to walk in and immensity to dream in – what more could he ask? A few flowers at his feet and above him the stars.