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Come on, if you don’t win tonight it doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, it just means you’re not a good actor.

Ellen DeGeneres

I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don’t eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Party People Sleep
I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He’s the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor’s wife right now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Men School Texas
I never see the glass half empty because I drink out the bottle
ELLEN DEGENERES

Bottles Glasses Half
I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Asparagus Funny Humor
When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it’s hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn’t feel like me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Embrace Feel Feminine People
There is something about TM. It is the only time I have that stillness… It gives me this peaceful feeling-I just love it so much.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Giving Peaceful
My name is Ellen and I’m a vegetarian. Just to add another label to me: I am a lesbian, aquarian and vegetarian. I’ve said it.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Add Labels Names
I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I’ve started a record label, so I get to nurture new talent and talk about music, which is a passion of mine. I’ve written another book. And I get to come to work and do the TV show, which is always really fun.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Book Fun Passion Talk
So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Government Mean Sarcasm
The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Ideas
So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable. It’s like someone staying in a bad marriage or relationship – it’s actually easier to stay because they know what to expect every day, versus leaving and not knowing what to expect.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Drama Knowing People
So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we’ve checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Phone Reality Technology
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny
I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fitness Gym Health
I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Home Pet Resentment

Come on, if you don’t win tonight it doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, it just means you’re not a good actor.

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Come on, if you don’t win tonight it doesn’t mean you’re not a good person, it just means you’re not a good actor.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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