I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
JERRY SEINFELDThere’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
More Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who’s … normal … I’m not curious, I’m not interested.
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This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little.
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Pain is usually represented by lightning attacking the guy. Glowing redness is also popular. Sometimes parts of the guy would just burst into flames.
JERRY SEINFELD -
You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I always did well on the essay questions. Just put everything you know on there, maybe you’ll hit it.
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I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just something I’m very aware of.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it’s a relic.
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What I don’t understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.
JERRY SEINFELD -
If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
JERRY SEINFELD -
There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
JERRY SEINFELD -
I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
JERRY SEINFELD -
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don’t you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to hold the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
JERRY SEINFELD