I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
JERRY SEINFELDThere’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
More Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don’t you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets.
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You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
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This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little.
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Most people, you do a TV series, it ends three, four, five years later; it’s a relic.
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When you’ve been in the business 5-years, as a person, it’s like you’re 5-years old – like a child. 10-years and you’re 10-years old, 20… Etcetera. That’s how I measure maturity in this industry.
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The best revenge is living well.
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to hold the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
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I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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That’s why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
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Pain is usually represented by lightning attacking the guy. Glowing redness is also popular. Sometimes parts of the guy would just burst into flames.
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Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on ‘How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?
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There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don’t have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
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There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
JERRY SEINFELD