We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
ELLEN DEGENERESA circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
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I’m sure there’s somebody out there who doesn’t like Betty White because she’s short and has white hair.
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You have to have funny faces and words, you can’t just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that’s why it’s hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
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So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
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I don’t need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I’m going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
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The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.
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Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most
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You know, it’s hard work to write a book. I can’t tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
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I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.
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Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.
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The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.
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I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I’m about to take a bite of something.
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Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time.
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I learned compassion from being discriminated against. Everything bad that’s ever happened to me has taught me compassion.
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I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.
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I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot. I’ve started a record label, so I get to nurture new talent and talk about music, which is a passion of mine. I’ve written another book. And I get to come to work and do the TV show, which is always really fun.
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I would love for the world to be happier.
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If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.
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…we should be grateful for them because without our family-the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day-life is pretty boring.
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I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
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I love furniture. And I thought, why are we not seeing who’s making the cool new coffee table and these new designs that come out?
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When I decided to have my character on the show come out, I knew I was going to have to come out, too. I never wanted to be the lesbian actress. I never wanted to be the spokesperson for the gay community. Ever. I did it for my own truth.
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People give me such a hard time because I don’t wear dresses. What’s that got to do with anything?
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There’s nothing I know for sure, because I know for sure that things change.
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I get my dance moves from just moving around and listening to music and not really worrying about if it’s perfect or not.
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I had a really tough time for a few years. My show was gone. My phone wasn’t ringing. There wasn’t one job offer. And at that point, I thought I knew for sure that I wouldn’t work in Hollywood again.
ELLEN DEGENERES