I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
ELLEN DEGENERESI have an amazing team, I have amazing producers, I have amazing writers, but at the end of it, it’s me making the decisions on the writing, the tone, the editing.
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, ‘Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it’s so repetitious.’
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I’ve learned 2 things about tv. It’s always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
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The world is filled with negativity. I want people to watch me and think, “I feel good, and I’m going to make somebody else feel good today.
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I didn’t go to college at all, any college, and I’m not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I’m a huge celebrity.
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A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
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I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
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I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
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Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
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We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
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Procrastination isn’t the problem. It’s the solution. It’s the universe’s way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast.
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Be open to learning new lessons, even if they contradict the lessons you learned yesterday.
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Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
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Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
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Be kind to one another. Bye, bye.
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I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.
ELLEN DEGENERES