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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they’ve seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.

Brad Williams

There is often times when I’m in a bar or after a show, and a woman just grabs my head and shoves it into her cleavage, or grabs my ass, or something like that which – don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining, but it’s just interesting. It’s just interesting that that occurs.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Bar Complaining Interesting
I’m in awe of comics that do things that I can’t do, or haven’t tried doing yet.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Awe Comic Havens Things
If I make a joke about black people or Asian people or whatever, and then an Asian comes up to me afterwards and says, “That joke offended me,” I’m still more or less not going to listen, but at least it makes sense, like I said something that was about them.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Asian Black People
It’s very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Confusing People
If I do talk politics it’s very surface, it’s not in-depth.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Depth Politics Surface
I’m in awe of comedians that do things that I can’t do, whether it be a one-liner comic like Anthony Jeselnik, whether it be social issues commentary, whether it be – hell, Carrot Top. I can’t be Carrot Top. I can’t.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Issues
I found out if you’re a funny guy, a lot of people like you.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Guy Like People
I don’t know, why am I called the opposite of what I am? It’s very confusing to me.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Confusing Knows Opposites
I admire ventriloquists, because I can’t do that. I mean, I might get mistaken for a ventriloquist dummy every now and then, but I can’t do what they do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Mean might Now Then
If you got a hit every third time that you went up to bat in the major leagues, you’d be the greatest hitter of all time. I think my average is a little better than that.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Average League Thinking
I’m funny because I’m funny. And there’s more to offer.
BRAD WILLIAMS

More Offers Funny
Now, I’ve gotten to the point in my career, I’m 13 years in, to where I know that I’m funny. I know that I’m good at this.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Careers Knows Years
I hate that when people are like, “Well, all dwarves know each other, right?” And you want to get mad, but you can’t because we do.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Dwarves Hate People
When a soldier of the night’s watch dies they say, “And now his watch is over.” That’s what they say when a comedian dies. They go, “And now his tour is done.”
BRAD WILLIAMS

Comedian Night Soldier
People ask me a lot like, “Hey, so when are you done with your tour?” Like when I die. That’s when I’m done with my tour.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Done Hey People
I don’t get to the global issues or anything like that. I am just trying to be silly.
BRAD WILLIAMS

Issues Silly Trying

Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they’ve seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.

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Yeah, people do need to realize that just because they’ve seen me perform for an hour does not mean that we are now close.

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Popular Authors

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