No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
ELLEN DEGENERESSome of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most
More Ellen DeGeneres Quotes
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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren’t any space aliens. We can’t be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we’re not all there is. If so, we’re in big trouble.
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I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
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In the 80’s we had high, high, waisted pants, that if they came up any higher they’d have to go up another size, if you know what I mean.
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I became vegan because I saw footage of what really goes on in the slaughterhouses and on the dairy farms.
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I hate having to do small talk. I’d rather talk about deep subjects. I’d rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
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I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
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It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
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I admire people who know they can’t sing. There are so many people out there who can’t sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
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A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
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I was coming home from kindergarten – well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It’s good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
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If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don’t memorize numbers anymore.
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I like to try new things because I get bored so easily.
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So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn’t with all the layers… I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says ‘open here.’ Is that sarcasm?
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My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you’re kidding?… Noooo… as funny as that is, I’m not
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Dan: ‘Ah, well, I hope this didn’t have anything to do with me.’ Ellen: ‘No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman.
ELLEN DEGENERES