I don’t want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar.
BILL MURRAYMy first movie, I got nominated for a Canadian Oscar-for Meatballs. For MEATBALLS. And who am I up against? George C. Scott. So he wins the award and I stand up and go, ‘That’s it-let’s get the hell outta here.’
More Bill Murray Quotes
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I’ve killed myself so many times, I don’t even exist anymore.
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So I went, and one of the funniest film moments I’ve ever had was when they introduced the New York film critics. They all stood up – motley isn’t the word for that group.
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The set is stocked with Victorian extras and little children in Oliver kind of outfits, and the director says, “All right, Bud – just give it whatever you want.” And Hackett goes off on a rant. Unbelievably obscene.
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Okay, let’s pick a date. Let’s plan this and make a party and get married.’ Take that person and travel around the world. Buy a plane ticket for the two of you to travel all around the world.
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Buddy Hackett [was] talking – this is Hackett, not me – about the Virgin Mary, a limerick sort of thing, and all these children and families … the look of absolute horror.
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Well, the past is gone, I know that. The future isn’t here yet, whatever it’s going to be. So, all there is, is this. The present. That’s it.
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You want my dark side? Have I ever stolen anything? Not so much intentionally. But I don’t think it’s so much stealing as… being a part of the flow of the universe.
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The automatic things you do are basically those things that keep you from doing the better things you need to do.
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So far, I’ve only sailed in the Caribbean. I’ve sailed the Virgin Island and The Grenadines. I liked all that. We charted some really crummy boats in the Grenadines. That made for an exciting sailing trip (laughs) when everything goes well.
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I don’t know what my fans are going to think. It’s definitely not what they’re used to from me.
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Why would you get up there and bore people? I never have figured that out. These people are supposedly in the entertainment industry, and they finally get up there to that podium and they become the most boring people in the world.
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Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.
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When you see grown men near to tears because they’ve missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.
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Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
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You’re supposed to have one hand up and one hand down. As you’re trying to going up, you’re trying to pull someone up at the same time.
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Somewhere there’s a score being kept, so you have an obligation to live life as well as you can, be as engaged as you can.
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The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything.
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If you have someone that you think is The One, don’t just sort of think in your ordinary mind, ‘
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It just doesn’t matter if we win or we lose. IT JUST DOESN’T MATTER! It just doesn’t matter! It just doesn’t matter!
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Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it’s usually something unusual.
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I’ve got kids and that’s important. It’s funny, you think that there’s an expiration date on them and there just isn’t.
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We still have to put some cherry syrup on it, and then we can eat it
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The cell will completely collapse and become nothing. That’s kind of what it’s like being famous. People say hi, how are you doing, and after the thousandth time, you just get angry; you really pop.
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I would jump into the middle of the street and say, “excuse me, there’s a Mercedes that’s got to get through here.” And I would push people out of the way, “get out of the way! Let him through!” Smacking their cars and stuff. Just like, “whack” and you just jump into it.
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Religion is the worst enemy of mankind. No single war in the history of humanity has killed as many people as religion has.
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I knew that’s where I was going. I knew we were going to Italy. You couldn’t make this movie in America at this price. I knew it was going to be big. I knew there was going to be a ship involved and that there was going to be a set as big as the ship.
BILL MURRAY