“I had bad days on the field. But I didn’t take them home with me. I left them in a bar along the way home.”

I’m the guy who will persist in his path. I’m the guy who will make you laugh. I’m the guy who strives to be open.

There were days on that show where I had to go in and record a song, then I had to rehearse the dance for that song, and then I had to go and shoot a separate scene. That would be one day. So yeah, it was about the value of time and being prepared, and not to freak out.

I’m the guy who’s been heartbroken. I’m the guy who has been on his own, and I’m the guy who’s felt alone. I’m the guy who holds your hand, and I’m the guy who will stand up and be a man.

I don’t tan on my upper thighs, so when I first wore those [ cut-off jean short shorts] I look like I was walking on two cans of milk.

I don’t want to be that guy mumbling into his drink at a bar.

Classic Christmas cookies are really time-consuming. Instead, make a bar you can bake in a pan and just cut up, like a brownie or a blondie or a shortbread, which still has that Christmas vibe.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I’m one of those people that will walk into a bar, and if I wasn’t a comic – because some people know who I am – I would just blend in.

I am invisible in gay bars.

I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!

Michael Jackson was not an artist who comes along once in a decade, a generation, or a lifetime. He was an artist who comes along only once, period… He raised the bar and then BROKE the bar!

Membership in the bar is a privilege burdened with conditions.