I really don’t know what’s going to come out of my mouth.
BILL MURRAYEveryone needs to take a vacation from the sort of automatic things you do.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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If Google doesn’t know the answer, then it’s not a question
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In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can’t help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They’re very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you’re there.
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I think midlife crisis is just a point where people’s careers have reached some plateau and they have to reflect on their personal relationships.
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I mean, everybody would love to have their clothes torn off by a mob of girls, but being screamed at is different.
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You know the theory of cell irritability? If you take an amoeba cell and poke it a thousand times, it will change and then re-form into its original shape. And then, the thousandth time you poke this amoeba.
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People say I’m difficult and sometimes that’s a badge of honour.
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The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything: the better you are with your loved ones, the better you are with your enemies, the better you are at your job, the better you are with yourself.
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When everything goes well. When sails rip, engines freeze up and you find there are organisms growing inside the diesel, it’s terrible and amazing stuff.
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This is not a dress rehearsal; this is your life.
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Well it’s hard to be yourself, it’s the hardest job there is.
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I don’t feel like it’s pressure. It’s more of an obligation – not to entertain or be funny, but to have a certain levity. I mean, there’s got to be a lightness in your leg.
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Every day, he was talking to the studio about this helicopter shot.
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Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like, ‘Yep, I like this one,’ and you just do stuff with them.
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No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between friends and family. But I have felt lonely many times in my life.
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Buddy Hackett [was] talking – this is Hackett, not me – about the Virgin Mary, a limerick sort of thing, and all these children and families … the look of absolute horror.
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Groundhog Day’ was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn’t even get nominated for an Academy Award.
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I kinda like this Jay-Z thing, where he’s retired, but he keeps doing shows. I think I beat him to that. If you say you’re retired, people don’t bother you so much, and then if you want to do something, you can do it.
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You know…they say an elephant never forgets. What they don’t tell you is, you never forget an elephant.
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I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
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Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
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If you walk up to some random person on the street, grab them by the shoulder, and say ‘Did you just see what I saw?!’, you’ll find that no-one wants to talk to you.
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So I went, and one of the funniest film moments I’ve ever had was when they introduced the New York film critics. They all stood up – motley isn’t the word for that group.
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Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.
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Whenever I think of the high salaries we are paid as film actors, I think it is for the travel, the time away, and any trouble you get into through being well known. It’s not for the acting, that’s for sure.
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You work, you get paid, you drink.
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Morocco is the greatest. I should be getting money from the Moroccans because I’m just telling everyone that it’s a wonderful place to go.
BILL MURRAY