“They never were given a chance to give their respects to the death of the guy they loved back in ’84.”

I can smell parents’ stomach acid right now, but they know that whole “You gotta get a job and you gotta settle for what people perceive as success” thing is really absurd.

Fame is like a big eraser. It’s strange, now that I’m famous. In my parents’ opinion, all the shitty things – all the wreckage of my past – is erased.

If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.

We don’t really become worm food. We go to a magical place with bunnies and rainbows.”

Kurt (Cobain) was a fan of my standup, which was pretty weird.

I’m against gun control. It’s not that I like guns, it’s just that allowing Americans to have guns will increase the chances that a bunch of rednecks will blow each other’s heads off.

When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn’t get a job and I couldn’t eat meat.

How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that’s who I am.

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

Manchester City have been in the doldrums for a while, they came up and went straight back down again.

The idea that hardware on networks should just be caches for movable process descriptions and the processes themselves goes back quite a ways.

Demons don’t play by the rules. They lie and they cheat and they stab in the back.

It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.

I actually find in America, there’s a slight snobbery about actors who go back and forth between big heavy dramas and popcorn fare. That always intrigues me, because that doesn’t exist in the same way in Britain. And I imagine it would be worse.

Design principle: Take things away until the design breaks, then put that last thing back in.

The Republicans have a back up plan in case you do get sick …

In terms of the sort of class, and the sort of snobby, slightly on the back-foot thing Britain has. But it’s much more prevalent in America.