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With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.

Bob Monkhouse

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Clever Funny Smart
A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Feet Funny Humor
Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Silence
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny House Marriage Wife
I can still enjoy sex at 74 – I live at 75, so it’s no distance.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Distance Funny Sex
I know I’m a sinner, but make me a winner!
BOB MONKHOUSE

Knows Sinner Winner
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Father Funny Humor
I got my start in silent radio.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Radio
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
BOB MONKHOUSE

Boards Drawing Inventor
Dulwich College takes me back after seventy years: My Mum must have written one hell of a sick note!
BOB MONKHOUSE

College Funny Humor
My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Mom Mother
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Sex Wife Years
I saw a specialist who asked me ‘Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?’. I said I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Phrases Saws Thinking
Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Homeless Humor
I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Humor Sex
I came home and found that my son was taking drugs – my very best ones too!
BOB MONKHOUSE

Funny Home Humor

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.

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With my wife it was sex, sex, sex…Yes, three times in 35 years.

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Popular Authors

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