“Once or twice I’ve been described as a light comedian. I consider this the most accurate description of my abilities I’ve ever seen.”

You need a plan for yourself, just like you need a plan for a business.

My golf is woeful, but I will never surrender

The things Elvis has done during his career and the things he has contributed and created are really something very important to the music business.

[Louis Armstrong] was the only musician who ever lived, who can’t be replaced by someone.

Honestly, I think I’ve stretched a talent which is so thin it’s almost transparent over a quite unbelievable term of years.

When I’m worried and I can’t sleep, I count my blessings instead of sheep. And I fall asleep … counting my blessings.

He never contributed a damn thing to music. (on Elvis Presley)

There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for (Bob) Hope, and there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me … We spend our lives doing nothing for each other.

I’m proud to acknowledge my debt to the ‘Reverend Satchelmouth’ … He is the beginning and the end of music in America

That was a great game of golf, fellers.

I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don’t feel that kind of terror which traditionally anyone who has to do any public speaking feels. It’s worse for actors, because our livelihood depends on it.

I wanted to be in Jim Carrey comedy movies before I met him. I wanted to be a comedian on Stage 19, yukking it up.

There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously.

A lot of us [comedians] are drawn to the stage or show business or whatever because we didn’t feel so great about ourselves, and we didn’t know how to do anything about that, so we sought external approval.

When you’re a young comedian the first thing you want to do is get a laugh.

You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.

Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language.

All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.