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  • Bill Burr Quote - I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
  • Bill Burr Quote - I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
  • Bill Burr Quote - I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
  • Bill Burr Quote - I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
  • Bill Burr Quote - I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
  • Bill Burr Quote - I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
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I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.

  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - ou’re in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke – or if you’re on the road, go to a ball game…

    ou’re in control of your brain. When your brain is sending you bad information or bad thoughts, you can decide to go to the gym, or write a new joke – or if you’re on the road, go to a ball game…

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that. Download This Image

    I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.

    Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.

    I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there.

    It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.

    You’re a kid, your whole life is awesome. It’s awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing, no keys to the house. You just ran outside into the woods. You weren’t scared of nothing. I challenge you to do that as an adult.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.

    Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.

    What are they worried about? Nobody ever walked into a show as a bleeding heart liberal and had a comedian undo 30 years of life experience.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Well probably the coolest show of that whole tour was in Germany. I had a chunk of material on [Adolf] Hitler, and I was worried about how they’d react, but they loved it.

    Well probably the coolest show of that whole tour was in Germany. I had a chunk of material on [Adolf] Hitler, and I was worried about how they’d react, but they loved it.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.

    I used to always work in, like, warehouses, because if my boss gave me a rough time, I could just get on a forklift and just, like, drive away from him.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It’s always been high quality stuff coming out of there.

    When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It’s always been high quality stuff coming out of there.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with. Download This Image

    Like I said, you guys in the media will treat the dumbest jack**s in the entire f***ng world like they won a Pulitzer prize for journalism and will put that level of weight on it, like they’re an ambassador to some country we’re trying to establish trade with.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, ‘What do you think you’re doing!’ The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could. Download This Image

    Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, ‘What do you think you’re doing!’ The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber. Download This Image

    Some guy workin’ at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can’t do it, because whores don’t care about lumber.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.

    You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, ‘You know what? We don’t think you’re smart enough for an office, but we don’t want you to look at anybody.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV. Download This Image

    You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

    I used to think you had to live this miserable life and that that would make you funnier, but you don’t. The misery will come. The misery will find you.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

    Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I never wanted to spend a month away from my life. One time I was out on the road for three weeks in a row and I when I came back someone had broken into my apartment and the water had evaporated from the toilet.

    I never wanted to spend a month away from my life. One time I was out on the road for three weeks in a row and I when I came back someone had broken into my apartment and the water had evaporated from the toilet.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - My neighbor’s not even listening to me. He’s all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He’s convinced it was designed by NASA. “Actually, it’s got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the…”

    My neighbor’s not even listening to me. He’s all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He’s convinced it was designed by NASA. “Actually, it’s got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the…”

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of comedy – if they start to like you, they’ll get a project going and call you in.

    I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of comedy – if they start to like you, they’ll get a project going and call you in.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.

    My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I don’t feel like it’s a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for the candidates that aren’t bought and paid for like the Clintons.

    I don’t feel like it’s a wasted vote because I think it encourages more people like that to run. I vote for the candidates that aren’t bought and paid for like the Clintons.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I can tell you why I like different countries. Ireland – some of the funniest heckles I’ve ever gotten. And the last time I did England I did Bristol, Manchester, and then London. The whole country is just amazing to drive through.

    I can tell you why I like different countries. Ireland – some of the funniest heckles I’ve ever gotten. And the last time I did England I did Bristol, Manchester, and then London. The whole country is just amazing to drive through.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I wasn’t the good looking guy, I wasn’t the hot chick, I wasn’t the fat guy, I didn’t have a catchphrase, I didn’t wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

    I wasn’t the good looking guy, I wasn’t the hot chick, I wasn’t the fat guy, I didn’t have a catchphrase, I didn’t wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

    I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - There is a very difficult period in a comedian’s career – it’s that window of time where you’re good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.

    There is a very difficult period in a comedian’s career – it’s that window of time where you’re good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.

    BILL BURR