“The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won’t take it, but somebody always does.”

I like computers. It’s the first time that I am endorsing a computer brand. I am very computer savvy, so this is certainly up my ally.

BS is just what it stands for, an MS is More of the Same, and a PhD is Piled Higher and Deeper.

What I have now are good problems of trying to decide and what I really want to do is good work next. My phone’s ringing a lot more and I’ve got nine lines so when it doesn’t ring, it’s very frustrating.

Behavior is the theory of manners practically applied.

Kids are not driving themselves to McDonalds. It’s not about kids and their choices. It’s about parents and their choices.

Hey, Ill be a pretty boy for money.

Perhaps the crime situation would be improved if we could get more cops off television and onto the streets.

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

The Four Rules of Life: 1. Show Up 2. Pay Attention 3.Tell the Truth 4. Don’t be upset at the results.

Keep strong if possible; in any case, keep cool.

Nothing is more irritating than not being invited to a party you wouldn”t be seen dead at

I believe the world is increasingly in danger of becoming split into groups which cannot communicate with each other, which no longer think of each other as members of the same species.

If you think that one individual can’t make a difference in the world, consider what one cigar can do in a nine-room house.

Evil is simple and empty. Evil has no mysterious depths. We stare into a dark hole and fill it with our fears, but it is only a hole.

We didn’t have MTV, and I was desperate for something. You know, you’re young, you want something off the beaten path. And Twin Peaks was like, surrealism on network TV.

Benefits are acceptable, while the receiver thinks he may return them; but once exceeding that, hatred is given instead of thanks.

I’m not a stand up at all, it’s such a fear of mine. My sister does it, and she’s really great at it.

I spend a lot of time doing carpentry. Sometimes there is nothing that gives me the contentment that sawing a piece of wood does.

A digital camera does have many advantages and I was a believer that digital video would be a big influence on film-making.

The American people have no control over what the military does. We have no say in American foreign policy.

Sometimes chemistry does the trick, and other times, you have to forge that with the people.

Funny… I still can’t believe in God.” “Does that matter now?”…”He believes in you.

Just to clarify the division of labor on the show, I write the show and Alan [Poul] does everything else.

Voter fraud does just barely exist, while racism, according to the Supreme Court, is a thing of the past.