When you see grown men near to tears because they’ve missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.
BILL MURRAYWhen I feel like I’m stuck, I do something – not like I’m Mother Teresa or anything, but there’s someone that’s forgotten about in your life, all the time. Someone that could use an ‘Attaboy’ or a ‘How you doin’ out there.
More Bill Murray Quotes
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The money thing is, the sort of Elvis Presley thing of buying you mother car is great, that’s very good. My mother has learned how to spend money.
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I’m a nut, but not just a nut.
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People confuse friendship and relaxation. It’s incredibly important to be relaxed – you don’t have a chance if you’re not relaxed. So I try very hard to relax any kind of tension. But friendship is different.
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So far, I’ve only sailed in the Caribbean. I’ve sailed the Virgin Island and The Grenadines. I liked all that. We charted some really crummy boats in the Grenadines. That made for an exciting sailing trip (laughs) when everything goes well.
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The critics. When they’re right, they’re right for the wrong reasons. And they’re usually wrong.
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Friendship is so weird. You just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like, ‘Yep, I like this one,’ and you just do stuff with them.
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I don’t answer fan mail. I don’t have time for that. It’s like hundreds of thousands of people who think they’re going to become millionaires getting autographs from movie actors. I don’t have time for those idiots. I’ve got stuff to do.
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Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
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I wanted to be a doctor once upon a time, but it turns out you’ve got to study, and that wasn’t going to happen. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had trouble holding jobs because they want you to be on time. That wasn’t going to work.
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There are people who drove me crazy, but they got the job done. And when I see that person again, I nod my head. Respect.
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Those are my people, you know? The ones who are going to crash and burn.
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Different vodkas have different effects. Some make you feel a little… poly-lingual. Some make you feel like you want to talk back to someone who’s giving you a hard time. Some make you feel like lifting kettle bells.
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If you walk up to some random person on the street, grab them by the shoulder, and say ‘Did you just see what I saw?!’, you’ll find that no-one wants to talk to you.
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And I say, ‘Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.’ And he says, ‘Oh, uh, there won’t be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.’ So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.
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If you have someone that you think is The One, don’t just sort of think in your ordinary mind, ‘
BILL MURRAY







