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  • Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.
  • Bill Burr Quote - Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.
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Realize that sleeping on a futon when you’re 30 is not the worst thing. You know what’s worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you’re not really in love with but for some reason you married, and you got a couple kids, and you got a job you hate.

Bill Burr

More Bill Burr Quotes

  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.

    My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn’t be funny, but to observe it, it’s hilarious.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I was certified to take x-rays, but you can’t just show up and start cleaning people’s teeth.

    I was certified to take x-rays, but you can’t just show up and start cleaning people’s teeth.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

    I’m not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.

    You’ll be laying there fantasizing about sleeping on a futon. There’s no risk when you go after a dream. There’s a tremendous amount to risk to playing it safe.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - We need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.

    We need a plague. It’s gotta happen. And don’t worry, it’s only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you’re gonna be fine! We gotta let mother nature do her thing, man. She keeps trying to help us out and we won’t let her do it.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.

    So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.

    Ric Flair is the greatest guy ever. He just wants to hang out, have a beer, and tell stories. He’s the coolest. I’ve never met The Rock though.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.

    Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I am so pro-swine flu… I want it. We need a plague. It’s got to happen; don’t be afraid. It’s only going to kill the weak.

    I am so pro-swine flu… I want it. We need a plague. It’s got to happen; don’t be afraid. It’s only going to kill the weak.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.

    I consider Ric Flair to be one of the great comedic minds. But I never got to see him growing up because that was back when they still had territories.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - You know, it wasn’t even that I’m a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I’d be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

    You know, it wasn’t even that I’m a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I’d be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.

    I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I have fun doing movies, I’ve had fun doing the animated show, and I certainly have fun doing standup. Even that, even though it’s just me talking, it’s also interaction with the crowd. Download This Image

    I have fun doing movies, I’ve had fun doing the animated show, and I certainly have fun doing standup. Even that, even though it’s just me talking, it’s also interaction with the crowd.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head. Download This Image

    There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you, like, 17 right off the top of my head.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I wasn’t the good looking guy, I wasn’t the hot chick, I wasn’t the fat guy, I didn’t have a catchphrase, I didn’t wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

    I wasn’t the good looking guy, I wasn’t the hot chick, I wasn’t the fat guy, I didn’t have a catchphrase, I didn’t wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

    BILL BURR
  • Share on Facebook Tweet this! Share on LinkedIn Share on Whatsapp Share on Telegram Bill Burr Quote - I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

    I just do my act. If people in England don’t get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it.

    BILL BURR