Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.
BILL BURRThere is a very difficult period in a comedian’s career – it’s that window of time where you’re good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet.
More Bill Burr Quotes
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So many people there are in politics that they’re overly cautious about laughing at stuff. They’re so damned concerned about what everyone else is thinking.
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My favorite part of podcasting is running my mouth for an hour. The only time I dont like it is when Im off. Then that hour feels like a day and a half.
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To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I’m just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
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I don’t think people know what hygienist means.
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I’ve actually expanded the amount of places that I go to because I want to see a bunch of stuff. You know, plan it as I can while I’m still young enough to travel.
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You wanna know how you know you’re informed as a protestor? They don’t show your interview on TV.
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Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing.
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I enjoy collaborating with other people.
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Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into.
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Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men!
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I couldn’t trash [Adolf] Hitler enough. Poor bastards, they make all these contributions to the automotive industry, aeronautics, space – but you pick one wrong guy and it’s all out the window. They’re never gonna live that one down.
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If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that’s good for me; I’m good.
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My neighbor’s not even listening to me. He’s all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He’s convinced it was designed by NASA. “Actually, it’s got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the…”
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If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you’re from and some of the thought processes.
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Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it’s a fun place to live.
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