You know you poor when you eatin’ breakfast food late. You fryin’ toast? At nine o’clock at night? With bacon? You’re broke.
BERNIE MACWhy I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.
More Bernie Mac Quotes
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I have so much respect for what’s funny.
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I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn’t changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.
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I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.
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The Bernie Mac Show’ is my life. It’s the truth, and I’m not ashamed of a minute, an hour, or a second of my life.
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I’m not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that’s what makes my comedy different.
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Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
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I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.
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Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
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I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It’s still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.
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I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.
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I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’
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Hugs aren’t like pieces of pie. Plenty of hugs to go around.
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I can act. I’ve been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don’t nobody owe you nothing. You’ve go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don’t go from M to Z.
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Okay, first rule of this carpool. No breaking wind in my car. The only gas that Bernie Mac want to be smelling is unleaded.
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You can’t change what happened. Just like you can’t change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.
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I want to do something that people can really say, ‘Hey, man, that was good, I’m proud of you, I’m proud of that.’ ‘Pride’ and ‘Transformers’ and things like that.
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I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.
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If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.
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Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? ‘Cause he had problems.
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I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.
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Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don’t start writing no letters. I’m just kidding. But am I lying?
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The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.
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You’re never going to see me playing a buffoon.
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I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.
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I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.
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I’ve introduced myself with comedy, and once you’ve introduced yourself as something, that’s where people keep you. That’s where people like to hold you.
BERNIE MAC