People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’
BILL HICKSThis Bud’s for yooouuuu.” C’mon, everybody, let’s be hypocritical bastards. It’s okay to drink your drug. We meant those other drugs. Those untaxed drugs. Those are the ones that are bad for you.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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It’s my object to be stared at like a dog that’s just been shown a card trick.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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All day long you see those commercials: ‘Here’s Your Brain, Just Say No’…and the next commercial is: ‘This Bud’s For You.’
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Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
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Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
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I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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It’s an insane world, and I’m proud to be a part of it.
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Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.
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I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
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To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]
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I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.
BILL HICKS








