“It’s not like you get up on stage and you’re immediately a genius. It takes a long time. So, don’t be discouraged.”

When I got to Saturday Night Live, it was a lot like going from pre-school to Harvard, and it took a long time to figure stuff out.

I can’t cook. I can barely make a bowl of cereal.

The best thing to do is to get out in front of an audience as much as you can, and learn from the experience.

Richard Grieco once asked for a bunch of M&M’s

Comedy is this weird thing. You have no idea why certain things work and other things don’t work.

I move out here, and next thing I know I’m 25, and the only thing I’ve heard is, ‘Can you get a coffee, can you hurry up with the thing, blah blah blah.’

My kids, they’re always embarrassed when my voice shows up in something.

The idea of a Chicago band that wanted to sing songs about California is really funny. Having never been to California.

I always felt better co-writing something – always co-writing. Because if I was the lead of it and it failed, then it failed on my own accord. I would say, “Well, I liked it or I screwed up. I take the hit on this one.”

It was nice doing something and hearing someone go, ‘Hey, you’re good at this.’

Growing up in Oklahoma, there wasn’t much to do. Play sports, do a lot of drugs, or read and watch movies, which is what I did.

My dad’s from there, and I have relatives there, but I don’t think I’ve been to Chicago since I was like 9.

I’m not a fan of the Eagles, but I’ve watched their documentary numerous times and everyone who’s watched it with me has sung along to the songs, much to my dismay.

If a guy doesn’t like a funny girl, something is wrong with him.

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I ever came up with where I gave him a name and a way of dressing.

I was into writing and directing. I was a bit of a reluctant actor. I would always ask friends to shoot or direct their movies, but then they’d want me to be in them.

My wife gets so mad at me because I don’t like to cook on the grill.

It seemed not unlikely that the phenomenon owed its origin to the scattering of sunlight by the molecules of the water.

I like to think of myself at home in the armchair, writing, smoking and occasionally wandering down the shop.

I didn’t really want to be in the lifestyle without the music. And I didn’t want to be in the music without the lifestyle.

I like women. I don’t understand them, but I like them.

Falling in love is terrible. It makes you act foolish, like an idiot.

Being older now, grown, I’m like, ‘What do we really do that’s fun?’ I’m kind of corny when you think about it. What could I rhyme about? Let me see, um, I gotta pay the rent today.

I liked different etymologies, different slang that came out in different eras. Different languages. Different dialects.