I haven’t left my house in days. I watch the news channels incessantly. All the news stories are about the election; all the commercials are Viagra and Cialis. Election, erection, election, erection! Either way we’re screwed!
BETTE MIDLERI think the essence of humor has not changed. It’s all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed.
More Bette Midler Quotes
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We are all part of the ecosystem.
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People have an obligation to live up to their potential.
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I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses’ plastic surgery.
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I have a ball – and it keeps my heart rate up. I get to wear fabulous clothes. I get to make people laugh. That’s my core business, and that’s where I’ll always return.
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Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It’s brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.
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The first time I saw a picture of [fabled actress] Ethel Barrymore – she was on Broadway and she was wearing pearls. I thought, “That’s who I should grow up to be.” It’s odd, because it was her physical image that I wanted;
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Do I understand this right? I’m being marked down?
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Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it’s like a jackhammer.
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The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.
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When I read that, I burst into tears. It was so generous and so basic. Not fluffy. I can’t understand why we scrimp on education and shortchange our kids. Why would the citizenry do that to the people who are going to inherit its republic?
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If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.
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After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
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I’ve forbidden my daughter to have grandchildren, I’m too young.
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Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.
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I sold my soul to rock ‘n’ roll.
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I can get plenty of men, keeping them is the hard part.
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I’ve always said that people have unrealistic expectations.
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I’d make a wonderful Lady Macbeth. I’ll wear a pair of platform shoes or something.
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The inventor of the modern foundation garment that we women wear today was a German scientist and opera lover by the name of Otto Titsling.
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Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.
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I’ve always been lucky enough to have great audiences. It has been quite a life.
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There’s a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don’t really do with your family.
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When I started in this [music] business, I had a dream, but it was amorphous, and I had no experience. I just had a fuzzy notion of what life would be like if I became what I pictured.
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Life is like cooking your masterpiece recipe. You have to get the right ingredients,have the right mixture and the right cooking time to reveal the PERFECT and DELICIOUS TASTE of your craft.
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I think the essence of humor has not changed. It’s all about surprise, facilitating follows. But the context of humor has changed.
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If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.
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