“The two party system just means that the corporations cut two checks instead of one.”

Marijuana is a very dangerous drug. Some people smoke it just once and go directly into politics.

A lot of us [comedians] are drawn to the stage or show business or whatever because we didn’t feel so great about ourselves, and we didn’t know how to do anything about that, so we sought external approval.

You can’t hate anybody till you hate yourself and you can’t love anybody till you love yourself.

We have a presidential election coming up. And I think the big problem, of course, is that someone will win.

The number one killer of children in Rwanda is malaria. Since the United States of America stood up and working with Rwandans, we have been able to cut those deaths by two-thirds.

You don’t learn knife skills at cooking school, because they give you only six onions and no matter how hard you focus on those six onions there are only six, and you’re not going to learn as much as when you cut up a hundred.

The suburb is a place where someone cuts down all the trees to build houses, and then names the streets after the trees.

Yeah, I’m obnoxious, yeah, I cut people off, yeah, I’m rude. You know why? Because you’re busy.

There is no short cut to a place worth going.

We believe that there is one economic lesson which our twentieth century experience has demonstrated conclusively-that America can no more survive and grow without big business than it can survive and grow without small business…. the two are interdependent.

Make no mistake, the point of cutting the personal income tax and the capital gains cut is to send an unmistakable message to business leaders.

You cannot strengthen one by weakening the other, and you cannot add to the stature of a dwarf by cutting off the legs of a giant.