“Dracula and LSU Football are at their best after the sun goes down.”

You only have to bat 1.000 in two things-flying and heart transplants. Everything else, you can go four in five.

The first word you see at the airport is ‘terminal’.

Ron Powlus will win the Heisman two times and be the greatest quarterback in the history of Notre Dame.

You’ll never have a 16-team playoff in college football. The most that could happen would be four teams in the next century. But after that, I’m dead, so who cares?

Nebraska sets the standard for how fans should act.

I hate it. I just do. That [artificial turf], local news, the IRS, and hair dryers are the four worst inventions of the century.

Best scene in college football is at LSU on a Saturday night.

My first on the bucket list will be a night game at LSU. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get there. Of all the things in college sports, that would be No. 1.

I love to have my hair down; I love to have my hair full… there’s something romantic about it.

My hair is a safety net for me, so I love to have it down and full and relaxed.

Most people thought I was a dork. But if you have a sense of humor about it, no one can bring you down.

And therewithal, whenever I found out anything remarkable, I have thought it my duty to put down my discovery on paper, so that all ingenious people might be informed thereof.

You don’t sit down and write a wish list about the person you are going to fall violently in love with. It just doesn’t work like that.

Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.

Never try to pull someone up who doesn’t want it…they’ll just pull you down.

My mother had very humble beginnings – to put it mildly. Her dad built their home out of timber that he cut down on their land. No heat, no air-conditioning – ‘no foolishness,’ as he would call it.