“Best scene in college football is at LSU on a Saturday night.”

You only have to bat 1.000 in two things-flying and heart transplants. Everything else, you can go four in five.

Dracula and LSU Football are at their best after the sun goes down.

The first word you see at the airport is ‘terminal’.

Ron Powlus will win the Heisman two times and be the greatest quarterback in the history of Notre Dame.

You’ll never have a 16-team playoff in college football. The most that could happen would be four teams in the next century. But after that, I’m dead, so who cares?

Nebraska sets the standard for how fans should act.

I hate it. I just do. That [artificial turf], local news, the IRS, and hair dryers are the four worst inventions of the century.

My first on the bucket list will be a night game at LSU. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get there. Of all the things in college sports, that would be No. 1.