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How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?

Beatrice Sparks

How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Embarrassed Function Miserable
They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Selfish Thinking
This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Home Mom Morning
The complete bottom has fallen out of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Bottom Complete Fallen Life
Even my parents treat me like I’m stupid and inferior and ever short. I guess I’ll never measure up to anyone’s expectations. I surely don’t measure up to what I’d like to be.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Even Expectation Inferior Measure
She didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Heart Home Running
The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Thinking Voice
I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Shadow Thinking
I can’t believe that I changed so little. I expected to look old and hollow and gray, but I guess it’s only me on the inside that has shriveled and deteriorated.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Believe Littles Looks
Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Better Fantasy Life Sometimes
I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Good Life Minutes Rest Scare
I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Fragmented Lost Shattered
I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs–which shows how screwed up this world really is!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drugs Harder Pills Show World
I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Humanity Small Parts
Nobody’s talking to me, but nobody’s hassling me either. I guess you can’t have everything.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Everything Guess Nobody Talking
I’m afraid to live and afraid to die.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Afraid Dies Live

How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?

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How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?

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