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I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.

Beatrice Sparks

I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Humanity Small Parts
This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Home Mom Morning
They have accepted me as an individual, as a personality, as an entity. I belong! I am important! I am somebody!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Important Individual Personality Something
I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Good Life Minutes Rest Scare
My biggest mistake: not wanting to help myself into thinking I am happy, that change would come about without really trying to change, or wanting to change. Procrastinating about changing. I do want to change.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Mistakes Thinking Trying
They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Selfish Thinking
I bet the pill is harder to get than drugs–which shows how screwed up this world really is!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Drugs Harder Pills Show World
The complete bottom has fallen out of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Bottom Complete Fallen Life
Lying – remembering beauty in truth.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Beauty Lying Remember Truth
She didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Heart Home Running
Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Better Fantasy Life Sometimes
I can’t believe that I changed so little. I expected to look old and hollow and gray, but I guess it’s only me on the inside that has shriveled and deteriorated.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Believe Littles Looks
I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Book Part Real Really
Sometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Assembly Everything Record Robot Same Shadow
I’m partly somebody else trying to fit in and say the right things and do the right thing and be in the right place and wear what everybody else is wearing.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Shadow Thinking
How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Embarrassed Function Miserable

I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.

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I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.

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