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How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?

Beatrice Sparks

Alone. The saddest word in the world.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Saddest World
Nobody’s talking to me, but nobody’s hassling me either. I guess you can’t have everything.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Everything Guess Nobody Talking
She didn’t know whether she was running away from something or running to something, but she admitted that deep in her heart she wanted to go home.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Heart Home Running
I’m really cracking. No, I’m beyond cracking. I’m shattered. I’m lost. I’m fragmented.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Fragmented Lost Shattered
I would like to stay stoned all the time, it scares me it’s so good. I would like to stay stoned every minute of every day for the rest of my life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Good Life Minutes Rest Scare
I pretend I’ve got lots of confidence and I’m a big jock and like that but deep inside I’m a frightened, insecure, can’t-make-it failure.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Frightened Insecure Jocks
I’m afraid to live and afraid to die.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Afraid Dies Live
I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Humanity Small Parts
Sometimes I think we’re all trying to be shadows of each other, trying to buy the same records and everything even if we don’t like them. Kids are like robots, off an assembly line, and I don’t want to be a robot!
BEATRICE SPARKS

Assembly Everything Record Robot Same Shadow
The voice of every kid hooked on drugs, alcohol or the occult joins the sad chorus “Not me! I didn’t think it could ever happen to me. I was sure I could handle it.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Kids Thinking Voice
How can thoughts hurt so much when they aren’t even physical?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Physical Thought
This morning when I left Mom’s parting words were, “Come straight home after school.” Wow! Like I’m going to get stoned at 3:30—it doesn’t sound so bad at that.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Home Mom Morning
Sometimes fantasies are better than life.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Better Fantasy Life Sometimes
I wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone in this whole world. I wouldn’t hurt them physically or emotionally, how then can people so consistently do it to me?
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt People Stupid
They don’t think “I care,” “I hurt,” or “I have feelings.” It just seems like I’m always “wrong,” always “selfish,” always “self-centered” and everything else that’s negative and destructive.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Hurt Selfish Thinking
It’s a good thing most people bleed on the inside or this would be a gory, blood-smeared earth.
BEATRICE SPARKS

Blood Life People

How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?

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How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten an function still talk and smile and concentrate?

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