“I’ll keep going till my face falls off.”

People don’t roll around naked in my books. I do allow them to go to bed if they’re married, but it’s all very wonderful and the moon beams.

I would love to employ a man, but how can I possibly give a man dictation from the bath?

I have always found women difficult. I don’t really understand them. To begin with, few women tell the truth.

The great majority of people in England and America are modest, decent and pure-minded and the amount of virgins in the world today is stupendous.

When you get past fifty, you have to decide whether to keep your face or your figure. I kept my face.

Every man has been brought up with the idea that decent women don’t pop in and out of bed; he has always been told by his mother that “nice girls don’t.” He finds, of course, when he gets older that this may be untrue-but only in a certain section of society.

The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.

A historical romance is the only kind of book where chastity really counts.

Every woman dreams of love. When she is young she prays she will find it. When she is middle aged she hopes for it and when she is old she remembers it.

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

You become what you think. You are what you eat.

I always wear boot polish on my eyelashes, because I am a very emotional person and it doesn’t run when I cry.

Good must triumph over evil. It usually does in life and in any case it’s bad for young people to believe it doesn’t.

To sleep around is absolutely wrong for a woman; it’s degrading and it completely ruins her personality. Sooner or later it will destroy all that is feminine and beautiful and idealistic in her.

The reason why Englishmen are the best husbands in the world is because they want to be faithful. A Frenchman or an Italian will wake up in the morning and wonder what girl he will meet. An Englishman wakes up and wonders what the cricket score is.

As long as the plots keep arriving from outer space, I’ll go on with my virgins.

The person whose face is between your legs is gonna get lockjaw.

I have nothing against romanticism. I’m all for it. I’m helpless in the face of romance.

My best friend and I love to make fish faces.

I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.

First feed the face, then talk right and wrong.

That hat looks ridiculous.” “Fortunately, I can change hats,” Wayne said, “while you, sir, are stuck with that face.

Such a human waste, your eyes without a face.

Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?