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Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.

Barbara Mertz

Giving other people advice is one of the most irritating and useless activities known to man.
BARBARA MERTZ

Giving Men People
If someone lies down and invites you to trample upon him, you are a remarkable individual if you decline the invitation.
BARBARA MERTZ

Down And Lying Weakness
But the dust! And the clutter! My housewifely and scholarly instincts were equally offended.
BARBARA MERTZ

Dust Instinct Scholarly
Superstition has its practical uses.
BARBARA MERTZ

Practical Superstitions Use
The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal – or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be.
BARBARA MERTZ

Cat Treats Way
Money was the manure of politics.
BARBARA MERTZ

Manure Money Politics
I am so tired of ruggedly handsome heroes. I don’t know too many ruggedly handsome people who are necessarily nice people. In fact, the beautiful people have a big handicap because they rely too much on their appearance and don’t bother to become interesting.
BARBARA MERTZ

Beautiful Hero Nice
Dogs can be made to feel guilty about anything, including the sins of their owners. Cats refuse to take the blame for anything – including their own sins.
BARBARA MERTZ

Blame Cat Dog
Most men are reasonably useful in a crisis. The difficulty lies in convincing them that the situation has reached a critical point
BARBARA MERTZ

Crisis Lying Men
The approval of a cat cannot but flatter the recipient.
BARBARA MERTZ

Approval Cat Flatter Recipient
Your trousers are on fire. I would have told you, but you so dislike advice.
BARBARA MERTZ

Advice Fire Trouser
In the silence I heard Bastet, who had retreated under the bed, carrying on a mumbling, profane monologue. (If you ask how I knew it was profane, I presume you have never owned a cat.)
BARBARA MERTZ

Bed Cat Silence
I disapprove of matrimony as a matter of principle…. Why should any independent, intelligent female choose to subject herself to the whims and tyrannies of a husband? I assure you, I have yet to meet a man as sensible as myself! (Amelia Peabody)
BARBARA MERTZ

Husband Independent Intelligent
I can do a book in three months if I spend all day, seven days a week at it and, in fact, I work better that way.
BARBARA MERTZ

Book Three Way
Nothing looks as self-satisfied as a contented cat.
BARBARA MERTZ

Cat Looks Self
If all else fails, we will simply have to drug our attendants, overpower the guards, raise the oppressed peasants to arms, and take over the government.
BARBARA MERTZ

Arms Drug Government

Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.

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Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.

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