“Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.”

Getting an idea for a book is not the problem, but you need 300 ideas – an idea a page.

You are softening toward the young rascal because he is ill, and because he says he likes cats.” “It is an engaging quality, Emerson.” “That depends,” said Emerson darkly, “on how he likes them.

No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.

Writing is like a bird-watcher watching for birds: the stories are there: you just have to train yourself to look for them.

I never meant to marry. In my opinion, a woman born in the last half of the nineteenth century of the Christian era suffered from enough disadvantages without willfully embracing another.

Nefret had always had an uncanny ability to read his thoughts. ‘Did she cry?’ she asked sweetly. ‘And then you kissed her? You shouldn’t have done that. I’m sure you meant well, but kissing someone out of pity is always a mistake.

A man asking for help ought to at least give directions.

Dogs can be made to feel guilty about anything, including the sins of their owners. Cats refuse to take the blame for anything – including their own sins.

Loving someone condemns you to a lifetime of fear. You become painfully conscious of how fragile people are – bundles of brittle bones and vulnerable flesh, breeding grounds for billions of deadly germs and horrible diseases.

I do not scruple to employ mendacity and a fictitious appearance of female incompetence when the occasion demands it.

Superstition has its practical uses.

a church ought to express the joy of religion as well as its majesty.

…Nefret said with a gusty sigh, ‘Well, that’s done it. We may as well join in, Ramses, family arguments are the favorite form of amusement here and this looks like being a loud one.

kissing someone out of pity is always a mistake.

Ramses had always been fond of Helen, in his peculiar fashion, but if he had looked at me as he was looking at her, I would have sent for a constable.

Husbands do not care to be contradicted. Indeed, I do not know anyone who does.

satire is a wrapping of exaggeration around a core of reality.

That’s an exaggeration but there are times when you have to turn the corner and do an acoustic set.