“There is nothing sadder than the cheerful letters of the dead, expressing hopes that were never fulfilled, ambitions that were never achieved, dreams cut off before they could come to fruition.”

a church ought to express the joy of religion as well as its majesty.

…Nefret said with a gusty sigh, ‘Well, that’s done it. We may as well join in, Ramses, family arguments are the favorite form of amusement here and this looks like being a loud one.

kissing someone out of pity is always a mistake.

Ramses had always been fond of Helen, in his peculiar fashion, but if he had looked at me as he was looking at her, I would have sent for a constable.

Husbands do not care to be contradicted. Indeed, I do not know anyone who does.

I’ve been reading ghost stories ever since I could read. I’m immensely curious about ghosts and UFOs and all that stuff, but I’m a very hard-headed person.

When men start talking about ‘honor’, there is sure to be trouble ahead.

There was no warning, not even a knock. The door flew open, and he forgot his present aches and pains in anticipation of what lay in store. The figure that stood in the door was not that of an enemy. It was worse. It was his mother.

In the silence I heard Bastet, who had retreated under the bed, carrying on a mumbling, profane monologue. (If you ask how I knew it was profane, I presume you have never owned a cat.)

Cats always pick the laps of the people who don’t like them.

Giving other people advice is one of the most irritating and useless activities known to man.

His masculinity was only too apparent

I am so tired of ruggedly handsome heroes. I don’t know too many ruggedly handsome people who are necessarily nice people. In fact, the beautiful people have a big handicap because they rely too much on their appearance and don’t bother to become interesting.

Many persons lead lives of crushing boredom.

It may take us a little longer to reach the summit, but never fear, we will get there!

Another dead body. Every year it is the same. Every year, another dead body.

Energy has to be fed from a source. If you don’t feed the source, it dissipates entirely.

I’ve never really felt that I’ve had the right hair cut, or had the right clothes.

There was a lot of stuff [in Rock of Ages] that had effects in it and I thought it was too smooth.

The fact is that the British Museum had a complete specimen of a dodo in their collection up until the 18th century

You can always count on the New York Times to cut your legs off.

I don’t think it’s fair – you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her a mood ring.

I get to sing a great song called “Proud of your boy” which was by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman and they were so hurt when it had to be cut from the film [Aladdin].

You see, Hansel and Gretel don’t just show up at the end of this story. They show up. And then they get their heads cut off. Just thought you’d like to know.