“If all else fails, we will simply have to drug our attendants, overpower the guards, raise the oppressed peasants to arms, and take over the government.”

I knew the answer, and–of course–so did Ramses. He has superb breath control and always gets in ahead of me.

The only way to do it is to do it: by writing, writing, writing.

I can do a book in three months if I spend all day, seven days a week at it and, in fact, I work better that way.

Spring is always cruel, with its false promise of resurrection.

People who relate what they believe to be new and startling information like to have such information received with exclamations of astonishment and admiration.

There is nothing sadder than the cheerful letters of the dead, expressing hopes that were never fulfilled, ambitions that were never achieved, dreams cut off before they could come to fruition.

I have no writing habit. I work when I feel like it, and I work when I have to – mostly the latter.

I do, however, think it would be difficult to write books I don’t like to read.

If you take a man by surprise, and behave with sufficient arrogance, he will generally do what you ask. -Emerson

If someone lies down and invites you to trample upon him, you are a remarkable individual if you decline the invitation.

It’s not unsporting to thrash a cowardly cad,’ said Simmons. ‘Everyone knows you don’t fight like a gentleman.’ ‘That might be called an oxymoron,’ Ramses said. ‘Oh–sorry. Bad form to use long words. Look it up when you get home.’ The poor devil didn’t know how to fight, like a gentleman or otherwise.

Marriage, in my view, should be a balanced stalemate between equal adversaries.

It is much more sensible to be an optimist instead of a pessimist, for if one is doomed to disappointment, why experience it in advance?

Reputations are shaped not by facts but by prejudices.

The opportunity to lecture had restored my good humor.

When one is striding bravely into the future one cannot watch one’s footing.

It’s time to float on the waters of the night. Time to wrap my arms around this book and press it to my chest, life preserver in a seat of unremarkable men and women anonymous faces on the street, a hundred thousand unalphabitized things a million forgotten hours.

What’s gonna happen to the arms industry when we realize we’re all one. Ha ha ha ha ha! It’s gonna fuck up the economy!

I wouldn’t change what happened to me because then I wouldn’t have this chance, in front of all of you, to embrace more people than I ever could have with two arms.

Losing an arm is kinda lame at one point, but at the same time, so much good has come out of it.

It’s true that I am not from the south and I have a certain reserve. I take time to get close to, and I don’t immediately throw my arms round someone. But it is more a question of style.

Therefore gird yourselves manfully and take up joyful arms for the name of God.

I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.

I could never have embraced this many people with two arms.