In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
TINA FEYIt will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring on live TV.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
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My work is my work. I take my work seriously but I don’t take myself too seriously.
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When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
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Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
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Why are my arms so weak? It’s like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly.
TINA FEY -
I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did – Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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It’s the same reason I don’t get Hooters. Why do we need to enjoy chicken wings and boobies at the same time? Yes, they are a natural and beautiful part of the human experience. And so are boobies. But why at the same time?
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby’s temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who’s boss.
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If you ever start to feel good about yourself… …. they have this thing called the internet.
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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
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You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”
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If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
TINA FEY