When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
TINA FEYIn Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
More Tina Fey Quotes
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You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
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Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
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There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.
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Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
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If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
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I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
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North Korea referred to The Interview as absolutely intolerable and a wanton act of terror.
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Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite,Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea.
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To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
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It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.
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I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
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You’re not in competition with other women. You’re in competition with everyone.
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I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it’s only because I struggle with math.
TINA FEY -
In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.
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Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
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An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’
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This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
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Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
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I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
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Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying “like” all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster.
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Thomas Jefferson-another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me. This was my problem in a nutshell. To get some play in Charlottesville, you had to be either a Martha Jefferson or a Sally Hemings.
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I had to get back to work, .. NBC has me under contract; the baby and I have only a verbal agreement.
TINA FEY -
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
TINA FEY