If you’re never able to tolerate a little bit of pain and discomfort, you’ll never get better.
ANGELA DUCKWORTHThere are going to be peaks and valleys. You don’t want to let kids quit during a valley.
More Angela Duckworth Quotes
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Psychologists call this the maturity principle. My own life experience fits this principle to a T.
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The most important thing parents can do, although it’s not the only thing they should do, is model the behavior they want from their kids.
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I think it’s very important to send the message that, while parents are needed to remind you to practice and occasionally force you to finish things… they also need to learn to respect you. You as an individual, ultimately, are the captain of where you’re going.
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It’s also stamina in your direction, stamina in your interests. If you are working on different things but all of them very hard, you’re not really going to get anywhere. You’ll never become an expert.
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When people think of the word ‘drive,’ they often think you have it or you don’t, and that’s where we’re wrong.
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I think the very idea of character, of developing not just grit, but empathy and curiosity, emotional intelligence.
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I worked hard when I was a consultant. I worked hard when I was in graduate school looking at neuroscience.
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I now have Grit Scale scores from thousands of American adults. My data provide a snapshot of grit across adulthood.
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Grit, in a word, is stamina. But it’s not just stamina in your effort.
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What we reliably find is that people’s perseverance scores are actually higher than their passion scores, and I think it really does get to the fact that working hard is hard, but maybe finding your passion is even more difficult.
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It is important to realize that the process of ‘fostering’ a passion takes trial and error. It takes experience; you cannot do it all in your head. And it takes a long time.
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I didn’t tell my kids, ‘You have to play viola, and you have to play piano.’ They chose these things on their own, and I don’t think we have to give kids every choice, but we do have to give them some choice because that autonomy is crucial for fostering passion.
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To me, the most shocking thing about grit is how little we know, how little science knows, about building it.
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When people tell me I can’t do something, I have a visceral reflex to say, ‘Yes, I can.’
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Nobody gets to be good at something without effort, no matter what your aptitude is.
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