One reason patients are reluctant to work in a therapy group is they fear that things will go too far, that the powerful therapist or the collective group might coerce them to lose control–to say or think or feel things that will be catastrophic.
IRVIN D. YALOMIf people in their 20s had more death awareness, would that in fact temper their ambition or drive?
More Irvin D. Yalom Quotes
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Death loses its terror if one dies when one has consummated one’s life!
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Mirroring, softly, barely audibly, just under the membrane of consciousness.
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Reality always creeps in–the reality of our helplessness and our mortality; the reality that, despite our reach for the stars, a creaturely fate awaits us.
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Perhaps the single most important therapeutic credo that I have is that the unexamined life is not worth living.
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My hunch is yes. It would certainly do something for those who are most ruthless, who tend to make others most miserable.
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I must stop him from being one of those who call themselves good because they have no claws.
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Despite the staunchest, most venerable defenses, we can never completely subdue death anxiety: it is always there, lurking in some hidden ravine of the mind.
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We take pleasure not only in the growth of our patient but also in the ripple effect—the salutary influence our patients have upon those whom they touch in life.
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It’s not easy to live every moment wholly aware of death. It’s like trying to stare the sun in the face: you can stand only so much of it. Because we cannot live frozen in fear, we generate methods to soften death’s terror.
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Look out the other’s window. Try to see the world as your patient sees it.
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The path to decision may be hard because it leads into the territory of both finiteness and groundlessness—domains soaked in anxiety.
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What? ‘Borderline patients play games’? That what you said? Ernest, you’ll never be a real therapist if you think like that. That’s exactly what I meant earlier when I talked about the dangers of diagnosis.
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None of my patients are really troubled by the idea that some part of what they say might be in a book in the future.
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Love is not just a passion spark between two people; there is infinite difference between falling in love and standing in love.
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Rather, love is a way of being, a “giving to,” not a ‘falling for”; a mode of relating at large, not an act limited to a single person.
IRVIN D. YALOM