The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
QUENTIN CRISPThe trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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What would you be like if you were the only person in the world? If you want to be truly happy you must be that person.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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Assoon as I stepped out of my mother’s womb on to dry land, I realized that I had made a mistake?but the trouble with children is that they are not returnable.
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I simply haven’t the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn’t get any worse.
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Abatement in the hostility of one’s enemies must never be thought to signify they have been won over. It only means that one has ceased to constitute a threat.
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Vice is its own reward.
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I never saw Portsmouth by day.
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Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.
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In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
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No effort is required to define or even attain happiness, but enormous concentration is needed to abandon everything else.
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Never sweep. After four years the dirt gets no worse.
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You must stop this interview now as I have come to end of my personality.
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Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in which it is possible to commit some social sin.
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If I have any talent at all, it is not for doing but for being.
QUENTIN CRISP






