The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
P. J. O'ROURKEGiving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
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By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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No doubt the ridiculous politicians are right to like politics. They have found careers in which success can be achieved by being ridiculous. Imagine Jimmy Carter or George W. Bush rising to the top of any other profession.
P. J. O'ROURKE