Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
P. J. O'ROURKEThink what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked.
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America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
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New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State’s registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they’re going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can’t understand what they say.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
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As a former writer for the ‘National Lampoon,’ I’ve probably contributed to the sea of sarcasm in which we live.
P. J. O'ROURKE