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Never fight an inanimate object.

P. J. O'Rourke

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Alcohol Anyway Fundamental Look Source Tets Trouble
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Give Government Money Poer Teenage Whiskey
You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Critics Most President Serve Something Stupid Usually
I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Carpenter Make Stop Terrible Thing Wood
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Annoyance Conundrum Necessary Politics
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behaviour Drunk Ever Holiday New Proper Season Yera
Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that’s when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Done Endless Foreigner God Like Lousy Party Politics School Some Thing Wrong
The real purpose of welfare is to get rid of poor people entirely. Everybody knows welfare has bad effects; that’s the point.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Know People Pont Poor Purpose Real Welfare
If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Economic Hour Language People Place Political Seventy Social Spend Talk Two
The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Best Bright Brightest Goldman Politics
Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Achieve Attempt Merit Politics Power Prestige
I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Computer Gaze Know One Suppose Use
The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Brilliant Everything Midwest Most Notice Proposal Satire Straightforward Time
The 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Atomic Bed Big Bomb Century Idea Test
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Act Enough Government Idea Pay People Whole
There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
P. J. O'ROURKE

More Much Outside Print Room View

Never fight an inanimate object.

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Never fight an inanimate object.

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