I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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America wasn’t founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
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Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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Regulation creates a moral hazard.
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKE






