There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
P. J. O'ROURKEI come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
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Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it.
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God’s infinite mercy, a last resort.
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I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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You’re stupid,’ is not something even his most severe critics usually say to President Barack Obama.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'ROURKE