“I love swimming in rivers, and well remember once jumping in at Chiswick.”

It hasn’t taken them long, they began by telling us they would have a positive and patriotic case and they’re back to project fear within minutes. There they go again they have nothing positive to say.

The difference between Hitler’s speeches and Churchill’s speeches was that Hitler made you think he could do anything; Churchill made you think you could do anything.

You are part of our Great British family.

I have come to the conclusion that Tony Blair has finally gone mad … he made assertions that are so jaw-droppingly and breathtakingly at variance with reality that he surely needs professional psychiatric help.

My ideal world is, we’re there, we’re in the EU, trying to make it better.

The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas.

I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.

It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall.

Humanity would have plunged into a new dark age of absolutely frightening and appalling characteristics without Churchill.

I dont see why people are so snooty about Channel Five. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap-dancing, and other related and vital subjects

London is the sporting capital of the world. I say to the Chinese and I say to the world, ping pong is coming home.

I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.

There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge.

It just happens I write fast and always have done.

My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.

It hasn’t taken them long, they began by telling us they would have a positive and patriotic case and they’re back to project fear within minutes. There they go again they have nothing positive to say.

Evolution is just a theory? Well, so is gravity and I don’t see you jumping out of buildings.

They say: Think twice before you jump. I say: Jump first and then think as much as you want!

You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

Gravity is not a version of the truth. It is the truth. Anyone who doubts it is invited to jump out a tenth-storey window.

Human things have long since jumped the shark.

There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can’t move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies.

One cannot leap a chasm in two jumps.

Trying something new. Jumping out the photo frame!