“He died a long painful death. However, you’ll be happy to hear that just a few years later he was reincarnated as Shirley MacLaine.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You’ll have plenty of time to be low-key when you’re laid out on the slab.

I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak.

There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can’t think of a clever enough idea.

If money can’t buy happiness, then I guess I’ll have to rent it.

I tend to enunciate pretty well. It’s always seemed that my voice is one of those voices that people can recognize pretty easily – which has been a bit of a drawback for some characters.

Some people want to advertise their weirdness, and spread it out, that’s not me.

Kind of wish I was dead. Maybe, I’ll blow my brains out, mama, or maybe I’ll go bowling.

I am not making this up. Needless to say, as soon as I discovered that, I gave up meat entirely.

I’m always a little leery about doing shows where I’m not the headliner because when I first started playing in 1982 I opened for Missing Persons and got pelted for 45 minutes.

My wife went off with Elvis.

As it turns out, there is a thing called the Internet, and stuff does go out there whether the suits like it or not.

The music has always been my bread and butter, and I’ve focused more of my attention on that.

By the time I’m in the studio recording my parody, 10,000 parodies of that song are on YouTube.

I don’t really look at myself as the kind of person who craves attention, but I’ve never been to therapy so there’s probably a lot of stuff about myself that I don’t know.

Ever since the day you left me, I’ve been so miserable, my dear. I feel almost as bad as I did when you were still here.

I’m free to do what I please, I’m probably not going to do albums. Just because I think releasing tracks as singles is a better way for me to stay topical.

For in the long run, either through a lie, or through truth, people were bound to give themselves away.

It’s only forever, Not long at all.

Love me little, love me long.

We live in the flicker — may it last as long as the old earth keeps rolling! But darkness was here yesterday.

All life long, the same questions, the same answers.

Art is long and life is short, and success is very far off.

I have loved my work, I have loved people and my play, but always I have been uplifted by the thought that what I have done well will live long and justify my life, that what I have done ill or never finished can now be handed on to others for endless days to be finished, perhaps better than I could have done.

I’ve been to acting school and I think that at the end of the day, when you just focus on the work and you’re comfortable with who you are, that at some point someone’s going to recognize your talent and give you an opportunity.