“Please read my diary, look through my things and figure me out.”

I only remember a few things about Jimmy Carter. He had big lips and liked peanuts. I now know that Jimmy Carter was and is a good man.

Drugs are bad for you. They will fuck you up.

I didn’t find any of the girls in my high school attractive at all.

I never wanted to sing. I just wanted to play rhythm guitar – hide in the back and just play.

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a classic case of divorce really affected me.

I want to do something different, really different, and if it alienates people that’s too bad.

If chasing cool is important to you, you’re an idiot!

I just hope I don’t become so blissful I become boring. I think I’ll always be neurotic enough to do something weird.

Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

Here we are now, entertain us.

Humans are stupid. I’m ashamed to be human.

If you’re really a mean person you’re going to come back as a fly and eat poop.

I like to make people feel happy and superior in their reaction towards my appearance.

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so let’s all get wasted and have the time of our lives.

There are a lot of things I wish I would have done, instead of just sitting around and complaining about having a boring life.

I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to piss off homophobes.

Let me be a poem freely hung in your diary. Like the moon, on the night sky.

The only really safe thing to do is to write a diary of where you’ve been, what time you went to bed, what you ate. If I wrote honestly about everything I think it’d be a disaster. It would cause a lot of trouble.

If you read, you’ll judge.

Though my father was Norwegian, he always wrote his diaries in perfect English.

Painting is just another way of keeping a diary.

I paint the way some people write an autobiography. The paintings, finished or not, are the pages from my diary.

The reason for my starting a diary is that I have no real friend.

Writing in a diary is a really strange experience for someone like me.